"PERFECTLY UNSHINY, OFTEN NEEDS POLISHING. TREAT AS A SHOE."

"HE DELETED THE PROD DATABASE TWICE! IN THE SAME DAY!"

"EXTREMELY HIGH INTELLECT... FOR A SNAIL."

"HE BURNED $100K IN CLAUDE CODE CREDITS! JUST TO CENTER A DIV!"

"HE COMMITED OUR .ENV FILE AND COST US $50K IN AWS COSTS!"

"WORST GAME DEVELOPER EVER, NEVER PLAY HIS GAMES!!"

"INVENTED THREE NEW BUGS WHILE FIXING ONE. CALLS IT INNOVATION."

"SWEARS IT WORKED YESTERDAY. YESTERDAY DISAGREES."

"OPERATES AS DESIGNED. DESIGN IS QUESTIONABLE."

"WISDOM CHASES HIM, BUT HE IS FASTER"

"HE SLOWED THE APP DOWN, AND CALLED IT A 'SLIGHT NEGATIVE GROWTH IN PERFORMANCE.'"

"CALLS HIMSELF A CODER, CAN'T EVEN SPELL THE WORD PROJECT."